Doomsday Scenario: Be prepared for a letdown, guys

As we creep closer to December 21, the D-date, it is but natural that we keep a sharp lookout for the tell tale signs of a buildup. A doomsday is not an everyday affair – lots of planning and moving of furniture must go into the preparations, if it is to be successfully carried out. Instead, what do we see? A mildly disrupted weather, no big Tsunami or Typhoon. Mad gunmen shooting the innocents, no big 9-11. A few Peruvian gentlemen snooping around my blog (see earlier entries in this category), no kidnapping and imprisonment (of me) in the Sun Temple in the middle of the Andes.

I know what some of you are thinking – let’s get over with it. You are thinking of Sherlock Holmes, and what he said about the dog that did not bark. You feel that the calm is deceptive, even deliberate ploy to lull the people into complacency. Maybe. But I humbly submit that an event of the order of world destruction would leave some tell tale signs.

I hate to be a prophet of doom – and I will not profit by it – but the ending of Mayan calendar is, in my book, as significant as Nostradamus’ prophecies, if not more. I am not running down the good old Nostradamus, but even his best friend would agree that his verses mean nothing until an event has already taken place – and even then, his friends have to really work hard to fit it into facts. Compare this with the Mayans – they have actually stuck their head out, giving an actual date at which time would come to a full stop for the humans.

But the Mayans are running against time. Let us, once again see where we stand, scientifically:

1. USA has not nominated any successor for Osama, or even Saddam, and so no one in the world today is sufficiently encouraged or has the confidence to plan something big. American Presidents used to find the evil incarnate pretty fast, but Obama is such a letdown. No wonder he is facing trouble in his reelection campaign. In any case the presidential race is probably the most boring one in American history, but that cannot be taken as an evidence for anything, other than the fact that Gore, Bush, Palin and Clinton are not contesting.
2. No standoff looms large on the superpower front. The Dragon will take another ten years to put in its bid for being ‘the’ superpower, with a nuke standoff in the South China Sea or in Korea. We cannot look forward to China to provide the fireworks this time around.
3. Many countries in the Middle East are grappling with civil movements for regime change. No one has time for the Arab-Israel serial wars. Even an ultra-right Isreali PM is not making the headlines, and the world has again forgotten the Palestinians. Post Yassir Arafat, Time has no one from the region to put on its cover (unfortunate development this for the Indian PM, who was dubbed as ‘the underachiever’, merely because Time did not have Arafat around to be called names.)
4. No asteroid or comet is coming hurtling towards earth. Our satellites and observatories are not reading any solar flares of unusual ferocity or any other mysterious stellar phenomena to threaten earth. No viral outbreak, no sudden global warming. No, science is calm and disciplined, working hard in the laboratories from behind its horn glasses.

And therefore, after sifting through the available evidence, I would have to reluctantly put forward my latest theory on the Mayans. It is as follows: The Mayan wise men, the calendar makers, must have got tired of making useless and endless calendars, and may have bluffed their superiors by claiming an end of time itself. That must have rid them of the need of making more calendars.

(I hope their conscience would have pricked them at playing such a dirty game on the future generations. I can very well imagine the following scene at the Andes, that morning, thousands of years ago – “Oh, well, maybe we should not have said that,” said the chief calendar maker to his assistant, full of self loathing, to which the assistant said, “Do not fret so, sire. Maybe the world would end before that date itself and our ruse would not be discovered.” The wise old man nodded pensively, just to humor the young man, though he knew that that was not true.)

Sorry guys, be prepared for a letdown. The much hyped D day is not likely to strike. And, for once, I am not sorry for being let down.

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