Top ten (and more) psychological advantages of being an Indian

Mind boggles at the sheer advantage that one gets from being an Indian. It is a pretty comfortable culture to be a part of, provided you can tolerate all the other crack-pots around you, like they tolerate you. Consider this randomly thought-of list of psychological advantages:

(Warning: Ultra-nationalist, ultra-patriotic, ultra-sensitive Indians need not waste their time reading the list, for you guys already know everything.)

  1. You will never feel lonely or an alien, anywhere in the world – nay, even on Mars. (When you get down from your rocket, there will be an Indian taxi to welcome you.)
  2. Even if you are dumb, wherever you go people, by default, will think you are an IIT-an, and a geek. An early advantage always helps.
  3. You can always be on a high moral ground, being from the world’s largest democracy, though you may never have cared to vote in your life.
  4. You are not bound to follow laws and rules. Traffic rules or traffic lights are an example – here you are the master of the road. Another benefit is the thrill that you get on reaching home in one piece, for it is always a gamble.
  5. You can lecture the world on the greatness of Hinduism, of family values, of spirituality, of Gandhian thought etc etc….while being ignorant and intolerant at the same time.
  6. You can be proud of things people did thousands of years ago, as if it was you (or your grandfather) who was directly responsible.
  7. You can be a full-grade male chauvinist but still flaunt your Goddess-worshipping culture and claim to be the most liberated-advanced-enlightened race.
  8. You can give a few rupees to the nearest beggar, have a dip in holy Ganga or recite a holy mantra, and all your guilt (for your cheating, lying, exploiting, corruption, thieving etc) gets erased, as if by magic. Great therapy is available for free.
  9. You can always flaunt being a part of a multi-cultural, multi-religious, multi-race, multi-linguistic society – though you may never have learned any of the other languages of your own country, and may even be bad-mouthing other  communities on the internet social sites.
  10. You can lecture the world on the half-baked ideas on Vedanta that you have read from English text-books. It is pretty satisfying to know that all what the scientists of the Western world are slogging to discover was already known to YOU.
  11. Pray to a God of your choice (from an assorted set of thousands of them) or even remain atheist or agnostic (for those are also valid religious streams in Hinduism), fanatically follow from any of the ideologies ever propounded (all have popular pockets of influence in India), do nothing in life except argue and criticize (Amartya Sen approves)….
  12. Have a great family support, with parents feeding and supporting you for virtually your entire lives, till they live that is. Feel pretty superior about your joint family traditions, though you may not even remember the names of your first cousins. Have the psychological support of a huge family (which acts like a New York gang in times of trouble) to support you in bad times (i.e. when you have really messed up your life being selfish and careless). It is, indeed, a great advantage.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. No wonder Indians love to create ‘mini-Indias’ wherever they go.


About Abhishek

I will let the blog speak for itself...or, at times, for me. View all posts by Abhishek

2 responses to “Top ten (and more) psychological advantages of being an Indian

  • Satyendra Bhardwaj

    True. Though you have written it in humour, but this is reality. Over the last few years the experiences have turned me from “blindly-nationalistic” to nationalistic. When one of my professors have said that one would forget killer of its father for monetary reasons (Machiavellian view), I had argued with him that India is not the West. But, now I realize that my belief was unfounded. The degradation of moral values in Indians has touched a really dangerous low.

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