Since the futurologists are laughing all the way to the bank, promising various doomsday dates, it flashed to me that I can also rake in with a few likes.
So here are the top ten best doomsday scenarios (you can add more, if you too are feeling doomsy):
10. Pakistan is on the verge of a Cricket World Cup Final win against India, when suddenly the doomsday strikes, cheating Pakistan of a famous victory.
9. Doomsday strikes early morning when everyone is sleeping. People wake to find themselves already in the Garden of Heaven with all their near and dear ones.
8. Doomsday strikes, but just in the nick of time small green Martians come in hundreds of spaceships for rescue. They are so impressed, that they decide to make Obama the President of United Peoples’ Republic of Mars.
7. Doomsday is selective – it strikes through an unidentified AIDS-like virus that kills only the rapists.
6. Doomsday strikes and neatly removes all material existence from earth, leaving behind conscious souls. In other words, we all are left here, fully conscious, but without the bodies that age and die. We also meet all souls, who had died earlier. Only those with Swiss Bank accounts are depressed.
5. Doomsday is Buddhist in nature – there is a sudden and total oblivion or nirvana. No scope of a good or bad scenario here.
4. Doomsday strikes, and it is revealed that our final destination would be as per our fantasies (it is a benevolent-liberal regime up there). Most people land up in harems, casinos, and luxury yachts – only a few end up in heaven. The lawyers reach a giant court-room where they will argue their cases brilliantly – till eternity. The super-beautiful girls land up in front of a mirror.
3. The world is ruled by a council of Plato, Socrates, Aristotle, ancient Indian and Babylonian sages, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and one hundred other chosen souls. Politics is banned.
2. Doomsday strikes, and all the men dissapear from earth. Only women are left in the world…Need we say more?
1. Doomsday strikes. We all reach heaven. But due to the sudden catastrophe, all our Good-Evil record is lost (it was kept somewhere on earth). Due to the goof-up, everybody is allowed inside the pearly gates.
And now for the ten worst doomsday scenarios:
10. The doomsday is Biblical. There shall be ten plagues in the world lasting for a hundred years, the land shall be full of frogs, and there shall be famine and misery lasting for another hundred years….. In short, a long drawn programme.
9. Doomsday strikes, all reach the gates of Heaven, are queued up (in order of age), and the Judges at the gate are issuing entry passes strictly on basis on goodness record. There is no politician to bribe your way through. AND there is no money to bribe them with!! (There are no cell-phones to call anyone to pull strings.)
8. A literary agent from New York calls me late in the night – he has just seen my blog, and is impressed. He is about to offer a fat package for my first novel, when the earth starts shaking, and he shouts in the phone – “That damn movie was right. It does start from New York…”
7. Doomsday strikes, but it is not the way people anticipated. It is just the end of human dominance – Super intelligent cockroaches take over the world and make humans their slaves.
6. Doomsday strikes. It is a ‘science-fictiony’ doomsday, where space-time is warped in such a way that all of us become infants again – we have to go through school, exams, growing up, pimples and heart-burns again.
5. Doomsday strikes. We all reach heaven. It is nothing like anyone had anticipated – Heaven is an exact replica of earth!!
4. Doomsday strikes and it is a Matrix like scene. Geeks rule the Cyber-Heaven, and change all rules, everything, every fifteen days. There are frequent crashes, bugs and viral attacks. Cyber-Heaven is divided into two camps, and a Cold War is going on. The President of one faction is Bill Gates and the Chief Patron of the other is Steve Jobs.
3. Doomsday strikes. We all reach heaven. But there also they are experimenting with democracy. The doomsday only adds about hundred thousand more politicians to the already crowded heavenly Parliament. People grumble that things are not as they were earlier.
2. Doomsday strikes only women. Only men are left in the world…Need we say more?
- Doomsday strikes. We all reach heaven. Heaven is being ruled by Osama bin Laden.